SLOW BEEF'S STRATEGY GUIDE TO METAL GEAR 2: SOLID SNAKE

Chapter XXIII: The Search for Natasha, the New Carrier Pigeon


Dr. Petrovich continues to shoot the shit about his friend Natasha, who can speak to Marv. You know, you'd think I could just contact Campbell and have him put me in touch with someone in Washington who could speak Marv's language, but what do I know? Besides how to better equip soldiers than Roy Campbell.

Wait a minute, she stole the enemy uniform? Is the entirety of Metal Gear Solid just a redo of the events in this game?


Er... Then how do you know she escaped enemy capture and stole a uniform? Because you're walled in that cell, and the transceiver is the only way I can talk to you.

Wow - I think I just identified the game's only plot hole.


Petrovich: "Touch all the enemy soldiers in the groin. When you don't feel a penis, that's her."


Uh, if there's no female enemy soldiers, and she wants to pass herself off as one, shouldn't she actually avoid "women-only" locations?

By the way, anyone else feel like there's someone on the Metal Gear game design team who's got a "sneaking into women's bathrooms" fetish?

Sadly, this means you now have to go *all* the way back to the first building. Down thirty floors, across the squeaky sand desert, and the mine field. Got to love annoyances like that.


There is good news - for once, the game does you a favor with this item. The Red ID - found in a room to the north of the first building - opens all Levels 1-3 doors, so you no longer have to keep trying all those different cards. You still have to backtrack through half the game a million times, but thank heaven for small favors.

Very, very small favors.

Head east of the Red ID for another dust chute.

Whee!

This time I got the snake skin. I don't know who the hell is devoting an entire garbage bag to one snake skin, but I guess there's some pretty big pythons in the building. And by that, I mean Hulk Hogan is here.

Will Snake Ever Find Natasha?