Wait a minute, if Metal Gear is a big fucking mech, how did this come as a surprise to anyone? Didn't anyone notice the mech marching in, raiding the nuclear base, and leaving with nukes? Why does Snake need to figure this out?

Why? This is the part that I don't get. It'd be one thing if Zanzibar Land only stole nukes, or Oilix, but doing both seems like they're just trying to cover every single "dickhead nation" base they can.

"Sir, we stole that energy alternative, and a bunch of nuclear weapons. But we didn't manage to get any apocalyptic viruses, magic books for summoning demons, or the Triforce of Power like you asked. Sorry."

Mother Brain?!

Snake: "Just kidding. I know I killed him in the last game, so there's no way it could be him. I mean, what kind of video game would make a villain - who was supposedly killed in the last game - also the villain of the sequel! No one would do that!"

But psychology and liberal arts? *That's* for murderers.

Petro: "Oh sorry, I was pretending to speak like a Russian. Is good, yes?"

Petro: "Unfortunately we were watching Pulp Fiction when we got caught, so he decided to put it in the one place he knew they'd never look for it..."

STB? Super Time Bandits? Special Troop Babies? Social Tramp Bunnies? And what exactly do you mean by... escort?

"You can't keep blowing it off - you have to take its calls sometime."

Whoa, touchy! Okay, stay in your little cell, and I'll go rescue your little friend. Back in a jiff!