With your new silencer, you can do cool things like shoot one guard right in front of the other - and the other guard won't even notice! Though to be fair, you could also punch a guard in the head 3 times right in front of another guard, and they'd have been fine with that, too.

"Hey Carl, looks like you're getting beat in the head. Carl? Oh well, he disappeared. Might as well continue to follow my predetermined patrol route."

Behind this door is the Green Beret that Black Color was talking about.

When you find him, follow him outside to... a hedge maze! Well, more a lush tropical maze, but a maze nonetheless. I fucking hate mazes. Video game designers of the world, hear me! Mazes should stay on diner placemats, and out of my video games. Mazes suck.

Your object is to follow the guy through the maze. Be careful, as he randomly stops and turns around. Fortunately, you've got a bird's eye view of everything, so this is about as challenging as a peanut butter sandwich. By the way, did I mention I *hate* mazes?

Did I also mention that the "follow the slow guy in the green beret through the maze" thing doesn't end particularly quickly? No. It doesn't. Fortunately, keep following him and...

Does this picture look familiar? That's right, this asshole actually leads you in a circle for no reason! This serves the purpose of artificially extending the "challenge" another five minutes. Even worse, this maze is actually only four screens in size, and there's no reason at all that you'd realistically need to follow this asshole. Ugh. Whatever.

I'll spare you some of the crap involved here. After going through the crappy maze, I proceeded to beat the guy to death. The game only lets you do three punches, so I was forced to just punch the air in exasperation. It's not stress relieving at all to do so, sadly.

Walk into the room to find...! Nothing! What in the-?! The room only contains a knocking sound. It was time to call Campbell, I thought.

Campbell: "Don't call me. I mean, I'm just here to like, give you other people's phone numbers pretty much."

Survival Master? Is that anything like a Blaster Master? Because I liked that game, too.

McDonald Miller is the person in Metal Gear Solid that advises Snake that he can assist him with different types of flora and fauna in Alaska, which was about as helpful to me as a rash on my scrotum. (If anyone's confused, that means not helpful at all.)