Enter this lab section on the 3rd floor to find... metal head soldiers! These Destro ripoffs aren't any different from regular guards, so just do your normal "sneak by" thing. By the way, just to make this something like a strategy guide, you'll need a key card from the second floor. Also, I really don't recommend using this strategy guide.

Poison gas! And like most gas, it's bright red! Snake can hold his breath for a really long time, fortunately, so feel free to run through this area safely. Yay?

Dr. Marv! Thank God for the tooth emitter! This game is over!

Oh no! Dr. Marv is bad! And he's calling you 'Fox-Hounder' for some strange reason. Actually, "Fool, Fox-Hounder" which is less an insult and more like a small insult salad.

No shit, buddy. You should see the cheap-ass radar they gave me. It doesn't even have an English display mode. They probably got it off some bodega in Chinatown. And can you believe they sent me on this mission with only a pack of smokes? "Here you go, have fun saving the world! Sheesh."

Marv transforms into... Black Color! From NASA Special Force! Wait... NASA?! Uh, Japan is aware that NASA is like, you know, full of astronauts and stuff, right? What kind of name is Black Color?

It's a fight to the death! Black Color kept teleporting around the room. I decided to use the old "Time stops when you contact HQ" trick that every Metal Gear game follows and call up Campbell for some inside dirt.

"I know you're in the middle of a boss fight, but you really should play more phone tag. When you're done, call up my friend Jimmy and say hi. He's cool."

Kessler has one eye that's larger than the other, and an even worse understanding of NASA than the game. NASA doesn't have ninjas, last I checked... unless of course, they're so stealthy I just never noticed them on the moon. Moon ninjas?! Whaaaaa?!

"Professionals like us favor popsicle sticks and take things nice and slow, if you know what I mean."

I don't know how he defines professional, but I'd like to think that "pros" would know to mix it up a little. Granted, the guy's erratic, but I'd think his lack of experience would be a good thing. Then again, what do I know? After all, up until a few minutes ago, I was under the impression NASA did space exploration. Guess not.

Now this is why I call up my friends! For good advice like this! "That ninja is fast, and erratic... so have fun with it!" Would I survive?