Okay, what the hell's going on with the gates here? Didn't anyone want to repair this? You'd think the sole nuclear power in the world would make sure there weren't giant holes in their fences.

A truck to the east has something worth checking out - a handgun... FIT FOR A GIANT! Look at the size of that bad boy!

I'm outside of the truck, being chased by bad guys - how will I ever sneak into the base? If you said, "Use a conspicuously obvious vent shaft opening to the right", congratulations! You and the game designers share a brain lesion, obviously, since I don't think anyone would have designed a base like that.

This doesn't show anything new. I just thought the picture of his legs sticking out of the vent was funny. By the way, what's with the dumb berets the bad guys are wearing?

Crawling through the vents is tedious, but go west and you'll find a crate of ammo that... somehow ended up in a fucking vent shaft. That must be good for the air conditioning. By the way, that crate contains only 30 bullets. That's just wasteful, Zanzibar!

Climb out north and you'll see two tanks, joined at the treads for some reason. Fortunately, they're parked and won't attack, which is good since Siamese tanks are the most disturbing kind. Suddenly, your transceiver rings!

What is this, a chat line? Why are random people contacting Snake on his walkie talkie?

Snake: "Lady, this is interesting and all, but I'm trying to sneak around a military base. Could you cut to the chase? I mean, it'd be silly if my missions were all constantly interrupted by long winded people, wouldn't it?"

Holly forgets the important part of her conversation - how she could be of assistance. She abruptly ends this abrupt, useless conversation with a "call me, bye". Of course, if you call her, she's too busy to talk. Women. Always talking about nothing over walkie-talkies during international incidents.

Sneaking around the tank hangar is a lot of fun! Try it with your friends! And remember, if you see something raised that you can crawl under, go ahead! It's your special hidey place now!